Defeating Self Talk - 3/15/15

When I was in High School I suffered from very low self-esteem. In fact, this issue persisted into college and I was a master at self-doubt and demeaning self-talk. I never thought I was very smart so when I wanted to contribute in class discussions, I would often sit trying to convince myself to speak up and say something. More often than not, the opportunity would pass and then I’d beat myself up even more and tell myself that I just didn’t quite measure up.
This negative self-talk eventually took its toll on me and in my mid-twenties I struggled with pretty bad bouts of depression.
But God touched my heart and on a random Sunday I attended church with my grandparents and the Scripture lesson that day was from Romans 5.

8…God proves his love for us in that while we [were still] sinners Christ died for us. 9Much more surely then, now that we have been justified by his blood, will we be saved through him… 10For if while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of his Son, much more surely, having been reconciled, will we be saved by his life.

It wasn’t until I took the time to listen to God rather than my own voice that I began to realize that I AM good enough. God loves me so much so that God would send himself into the world and then die for me.

In this moment of listening, I felt all the feelings of fear of unworthiness lifted.

I let the voice of God fill me with assurance.

Does that mean that I don’t experience moments of negative self-talk? 
No, absolutely not.

I find that I need those moments of silence to let God’s love fill me up. I need moments like an hour of worship to connect with God through raising my voice in praise and thanksgiving.

I need moments to be here with all of you offering our prayers together.

So, I invite you in this moment to join me in conversation with God – let’s pray:

Pastoral Prayer
God of strength,
You are ever present in our lives, you guide us and lift us up in times of doubt and struggles. As your people we strive to constantly turn to you, to hear your voice amid the voices that tell us that we aren’t good enough… amid our own voices that so often drown you out. Help us Lord to take moments of silence and reflection so that we can hear your voice, your voice that assures us.
We have been created in your image and we know deep down that your love is boundless. You want all that is good for us, you want our lives to be abundant.
So God, we ask that you help us turn our hearts always to you.
We ask that you help us to be aware of your constant love.
Remind us daily of how you see us.
Remind us that we are worthy and that with you by our side there is nothing to be afraid of.
We put our trust in you God, knowing that you will deliver us.
Today, we lift all that is on our hearts and minds as we pray the prayer that your son taught us to pray:

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed by thy name; they kingdom come; thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory forever. Amen.


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